God's Play

Lights, camera, action

my part in your play is only a fraction

All too often I forget my line

But from the side, you tell me "you're doing fine"

Beginning, middle, end

through it all you're my support and friend

Before each scene I'm filled with fright 

You smile and tell me, "you'll be alright"

Curtain call, take a bow

I made it through, but I don't know how

Then a look of understanding fills my face

I step back and beckon for you to take my place

Clap, clap, clap

My name suddenly drops off the map

The Creator and Director of the show

is the only one anyone really should know

Run the good race

On your mark, get set...Go!

But I don't move. Paralyzed, stuck – I didn't move.

Seconds that feel like ages pass and my hands and feet are still glued to the race track.

I visualize myself springing from the ground and racing forward, and my muscles feel as if

this visualization is a reality. But the reality is I am frozen in fear and frozen on the mark. What if...I can't...
I can feel heat in my face and cool sweat dampen my neck.

I relax my body and slip from my toes to my knees and I rest my forehead on the dusty track. You blew it. You lost before you even began. You...

“Hey, are you okay?” I hear the voice of my coach ask.

“The race is over, isn't it?” I ask from my fetal position.

“Not if you don't want it to be. You still have a chance.”

At that I raise my head and sit on my heels.

“You can't be serious? You saw me. I didn't even take a single step. I froze at the starting point. I blew it.”

“You can try again. You can run this race and you can finish.”

“Well, even if I had another chance to do it over - What if I'm not fast enough and I come in last place?”

My coach smiled a warm smile.

“Those who are first will be last and the last will be first. ”

Coach extended his hand to me, I grabbed it, and he pulled me up in one smooth movement.

“You aren't running to beat anyone else. And in my eyes you have already won.”

“Well...What if I trip and fall?”

“Then I will come and pick you up and you will continue to run the race as if you never fell.”

“What if I can't get back up?”

“Then I will carry you across the finish line.”

“And what if...”

“Listen to me.”

I shut my mouth when I noticed that my coach's smile was gone and a serious expression had taken its place.

“I have already run this race myself and I have already obtained the prize. There is nothing for you to lose because I have already won for you. All I am asking is that you keep on running and don't stop until you reach the end.

“And if you continue to run then you must only remember what I am about to tell you and silence and cast away any doubts you may have about your ability to run or any worries you may have about circumstances you could come to in the race.

“You cannot run to beat others or prove yourself. You will run with the strength I have trained you in. And when you falter I will be your strength. Run with endurance because this race will be long. Run with courage and boldness because you will come upon many obstacles. Run with hope because you know that you will finish this race and I will be at the end to meet you. And run with joy because, although this race will be exhausting and challenging, it will also be once in a lifetime and an amazing race. I have fully equipped you for this moment and I couldn't be more pleased or proud of you, no matter how the race plays out.

“Now,” the smile returned to my coach's face, “Are you ready?”

As my coach described the race I was going to have, my confidence began to build up in me once again.

“I think I am. I'm really excited and also a little scared. But I believe in what you say and I trust you. I'm ready.”

My coach gives me a nod.

“You've got this, superstar. Go run with all you've got.”

I walk to the starting line filled with determination.

On your mark.

I place my feet in their proper place and bend my knees.

Get set.

I reach my fingertips to the ground and lift myself onto my toes.

Go!

And I shoot forward, confident in my steps, joy in my soul, and my eyes fixed on my coach at the finish line. A smile spreads across my face and I have a plan in my heart to run this race with all my might. I have nothing to lose and everything to win.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,

let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Hebrews 12:1-2, NIV

Those who turned the world upside down

In the days of the early church things were radical. People not only said they believed in the risen Christ, but they lived like it as well. They endured horrible torture and still did not denounce their faith. They believed with their whole beings that Jesus was Lord and that He deserved their entire devotion.
How does that contrast with our body of believers today?
Believers back then were called Those Who Turned the World Upside Down (Acts 17:6, ESV).
Do believers today deserve that title? Are Christians the ones in our society who are a force to be
reckoned with? Are we leaders in media, science, politics, literature, and the arts?
Are we history makers, risk takers, or just hypocritical fakers?
Do those who are outside Christianity look at us as shining examples of  Christ Himself and
because of our examples give glory to God?
Sadly, I think the answer is no.
There are amazing Christian leaders out there, but there are only a few of them.
We have dropped the ball and have not given it our all. We could do better, but we just don't.
I cannot point fingers at Christians and say what they have been doing is wrong, but what I can do is encourage them and say they can do more! We need to blow the low expectations for Christians out of the water!
I believe that it is not over. This is not as good as it will get.
I believe that this generation of Christians will do something big.
Imagine with me for a minute...

Imagine if we as Christians did not fear what others thought of us
Imagine if  we loved God with a crazy love
Imagine if because of that crazy love we took action
Imagine if those who had the desire to write wrote
Imagine if those who had the desire to build built
Imagine if those who had the desire to preach preached
Imagine if those who had the desire to lead led

Imagine if how the Christians lived back in the time of the early church became normal living for us.
Imagine if Christianity infected all aspects of life.

If you love God and desire to do His will and you have the desire to do something...then why aren't you doing it? What is stopping you from creating or getting involved in politics or helping the homeless or whatever else it is that you want to do? You may have this big idea and are not sure how it'll ever happen..
Do you not know that with man some things are impossible, but with God all things are possible?
You may be aren't sure where to begin with doing what God has placed on your heart to do.
So pray!

Make a plan, create steps that will help you get to where you want to be. Take action!


Francis Chan in his book Crazy Love shared a list of qualities he thought those who were obsessed with Jesus possessed. 

"People who are obsessed with Jesus are…

+ lovers, who give freely and openly, without censure. Obsessed people love those who hate them and who can never love them back.

+ risk-takers, who  aren’t consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else.  Obsessed people care more about God’s kingdom coming to this earth than their own lives being shielded from pain or distress.

+ friends of all, who  live lives that connect them with the poor in some way or another. Obsessed people believe that  Jesus talked about money and the poor because it was really important to him.

+ crazy ones , who are more concerned with obeying God than doing what is expected or fulfilling the status quo.  A person who is obsessed with Jesus will do things that don’t always make sense in terms of success or wealth on this earth.  As Martin Luther put it, there are two days on my calendar: this day and that day.

+ the humble, who know that the sin of pride is always a battle.  Obsessed people know that you can never be “humble enough” and so they seek to make themselves less known and Christ more known. 

+ servers, who do not consider service a burden.  Obsessed people take joy in loving God by loving His people

+ givers, who are known as givers not takers. Obsessed people genuinely think that others matter as much as they do, and they particularly aware of those who are poor around the world.

+ sojourners, who think about heaven frequently. Obsessed people orient their lives around eternity; they are not fixed only on what is here in front of them.

+ the engrossed, characterized by committed, settled, passionate love for God, above and before every other thing, and every other being.

+ unguarded ones, who are raw with God; they do not attempt to mask the ugliness of their sins or their failures. Obsessed people don’t put it on for God; He is their safe place, where they can be at peace. 

+ the rooted, who have an intimate relationship with him.  They are nourished by God’s Word throughout the day because they know that forty minutes on Sunday is not enough to sustain them for a whole week, especially when they will encounter so many distraction and alternative messages.

+ the dedicated,  more concerned with his or her character than comfort. Obsessed people know that true joy doesn’t depend on circumstances or environment; it is a gift that must be chosen and cultivated, a gift that ultimately comes from God.

+ sacrificers, who know that the best thing he can do is be faithful to his Savior in every aspect of his life, continually saying “thank you!”  to God.  An obsessed person knows there can never be intimacy if he is always trying to pay God back or work hard enough to be worthy.  He revels in his role as child and friend of God."

I believe that to be ones who turn the world upside down we must be obsessed with Jesus.
So I challenge you (and I ask that if you are my brother or sister in Christ you challenge me as well) to live a life in pursuit of all the qualities of the obsessed. Become someone so different from the world that people can't help but wonder who is causing you to be like that. And take a step today towards making your God-given ideas a reality. Start praying about what you want to do for Christ. Start praying and don't stop. Our society is decaying and becoming more corrupt each day. As Christians it is our job to show them that there is hope and another way of living.

"Stand at the crossroads and look;

ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is,

and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls."

Jeremiah 6:16

Jesus is life

Life. It is celebrated when it starts and it is mourned when it ends.

It is full of good times and full of bad times.

It is reality and is all we have experienced. We don’t know what it was like before we were born and we don’t know what it will be like when we die. The life we have now is all we’ll ever have.

Or is it?

When we are born physically alive we are born spiritually dead because sin has already corrupted us and the penalty of sin is death. There is hope, however. 

I know that it is the most used Sunday school answer (other than God), but Jesus really is the answer.

Jesus is my hope. Jesus is your hope. Jesus may not be the answer to every question (unless you're really creative, 2+2 does not equal Jesus), but He does answer the question of, 

If we are dead spiritually how can we become alive again?

And that's what we want right? We want to be alive, don't we? Because, although life can be absolutely painful and at times terrifying,  life can also be absolutely amazing.

Another reason why we would want to be alive is that we don't want to be dead. Especially because

being dead doesn't mean we just cease to exist. Our souls were created eternal and so they just don't stop, they keep existing. We either exist with God or without Him. We either exist with eternal joy or we exist with eternal torment.

(Now, I didn't mean for this blog to be about deep theological things. I honestly don't know too much about what it will be like when I die. And I'm probably not the best one to explain to you what the bible does say about that subject. So, if you are curious about all that, read the bible and find out for yourself what it says about what happens when we die!)

You want to live? Then believe Jesus when he says that he is the Life (John 14:6).

When we were dead in our sins he came and died on the cross for our sins so that we could live!

I had often felt unwanted and unloved growing up. Love was given to me by people, but my soul longed for a deeper love.
When I think about what Jesus Christ did for me – that he died for me, a messed up and imperfect girl, he redeemed me and gave me life. That is when I feel most loved. That is when I feel most wanted!
Because I don't deserve it, I didn't earn it, but he did it anyways. For free.
He loved me that much. Whoa.
And because Jesus gave me life that means that I am no longer dead in sin. I am now alive.

Romans 6:11-14 says:

¹¹ In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.  

¹² Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.

¹³ Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. ¹⁴ For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.

Before I came alive in Christ it was all about me. What do I want? What do I want to do? Why is this happening to me?

My sinful desires controlled me. 

When I was brought to life by Christ, I died to those sinful desires. Essentially, I died to myself.

I then put on Christ as my new identity.

That is true for any Christian who accepts Jesus as their savior. 

Paul, the writer of many books of the New Testament and follower of Christ, describes his new identity 

this way:

 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)

Jesus Christ lives in me. So that should make me perfect right? When God looks at me he sees Christ in me and He sees Jesus' perfection. But I am by myself still imperfect. Sin no longer is my master, but I still struggle with the temptation to go back to sin. Before my choice was to sin, now I have the choice through Christ not to sin.

Before Christ's living in me it was about me. Now that Christ lives in me it's all about him.

I am to offer every part of me to God as an instrument of righteousness. And that is such a struggle!

Because all too often I choose to go back to sin. Every day, though, I am practicing the act of 

refusing myself and living like Christ. And every day it gets easier to choose righteousness than wickedness. Is the struggle worth it? Is it better to have Christ live in me and not do what I 

naturally incline to do? You betcha! 

Christ has brought me out of the darkness of my hopelessness and  my unloved and unwanted state.

Christ has brought me into his marvelous light! And in that light I feel more love and more wanted than I ever have.

Some questions to ask yourself:
~What does it mean in Romans 6:11-14 to not offer yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness?

~What does it mean to offer every part of yourself to God as an instrument of righteousness?

 ~You have died and it is Christ that lives in you. If your old self is no longer, then who are you 

and what is your identity? 

~If your purpose is to no longer live for yourself, what is your purpose? 

My Father's house

“No, you don’t understand. I have to get in there!”
The guard stood his ground and blocked the entryway.
“No, I don’t think you understand. Unless you have been invited you are not getting in.”
I extended my hand to the wall of the outer courts and leaned against it.
Exasperated, I rested my head against the cool clay wall and closed my eyes.
I ached with the desire to be in the presence of the one who, when everyone else deserted me, comforted me through the darkest moments of my life.
All of a sudden anger welled up in me. I pushed myself off the wall and stormed off away
from the light and noise of the gathering and stood in the darkness next to a palm tree.
I looked up at the stars and a breeze lazily lifted my hair of my forehead.
Looking at the stars in the silence of the night had always given me peace before, but
now I was seized with rage and my whole body was tensed.
Don’t my deeds count for something? All my life I’ve tried to be a good person.
I was faithful to my family, obedient to my parents, I followed all the laws that
were set before me.
In hopes of getting to be in the presence of the one I loved most I tried
everything to win favor with him.
And finally when I have the chance to be with him he does not let me in.
The sight of the night sky eventually calmed me and my anger turned into despair.
“So I guess this is it. I’m always going to be on the outside looking in.”
“Why is your heart cast down, child?”
I lowered my eyes from the sky to the silhouette of a man standing by me.
“I didn’t see you walk towards me. Why aren’t you inside?”
“I ask you the same question. Why are you not dining and singing joyful
songs in the home of my father?”
I squinted my eyes and tried to get a better a look at the man.
He turned and gestured towards the lit building in front of us.
“Is not that a better place to be then out here alone and in the darkness?”
I sighed and again I felt an ache in my heart.
“Believe me when I tell you that that is what I want more than anything.
But just a while ago I tried to enter in and I was stopped.
I explained to the man blocking my path that I knew the man inside
and that he would be pleased to see me.
The guard, however, said that I was not on the list of those he was allowed to let through.
I then told the man that I, more than one else, should be let through.
I was a good citizen and a righteous man.
“And as I was speaking to him this man in worn and ripped clothes came up.
The guard asked for his name and the let him through.”
“Good sir,” I addressed the mysterious man next to me. “Am I not clothed more finely than a king? My robes are of the finest cloth and crafted by the most excellent of cloth workers.
“How is it that this poorly looking man was let in and I was not? If you know the answer then please tell me because I am at a loss.”
“It is not the things that you do or the clothes that are on your back that will get you into my father’s house. All are worthless in my father’s eyes. He asked for obedience and faithfulness from those who serve him and all have fallen short of that. I tell you the truth, no one comes to my father except through me. For those who seek to be with my father, they must also seek me. For those who love my father, they must also love me.
Those who do not know me or do not love me my father will say he does not know them.”
The man turned and light illuminated his face. He resembled his father remarkably.
I bent down on one knee and bowed my head with respect.
“I am your father’s servant and now I am yours. Whatever you tell me to do, I shall do.”
The man put his hand on my shoulder.
“Arise and follow me.”
I stood up and the man led me towards the house I had failed to get into.
The guard saw us coming and moved out of the way with a bow.
A grin spread across my leader’s face as he entered the room.
“Father! I am home and I have brought a guest!”
The one who I had been trying to see my whole life stood up from the head of the table and
let out a bout of laughter.
“A guest of my son’s is a guest of mine! Come child,
I gladly welcome you into my home.”
He walked towards me and wrapped me in a warm embrace.

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. 

No one comes to the Father except through me.'”

John 14:6

Silenced by His love

I’m completely alone. No one loves me. No one notices me. No one cares.

Those words keep running through my mind constantly. There seems to be no end

to those words that pull me down. At times the weight seems unbearable.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. What a joke.
Words hurt me more than anything physical could ever do.
Physical hurt is just for a moment, but this emotional hurt and mental game goes on and on.

Those plaguing words weaken me now as I stand in a crowd.
Some are strangers; some are friends. It makes no difference because all they are to me are
people who don’t notice my hurt, people who ask “How are you doing?” but don’t care to
hear the answer. Or if they do, they accept my fake “good” and move on. I look around with emptiness in my heart and words screaming through my mind. Words directed to anyone who might take just a moment to look into my eyes and see a glimpse of them. Do you see me? Do you care about me? Do I matter?

But nobody notices the questions in my eyes. Nobody ever does. Some catch my gaze and hold it for a second, and it gives me hope that they may have noticed something; that they may have noticed me. But that second goes by and with it the gaze of that person moves to someplace else. I’m ready to give up the search and return to the words in my head. At least there’s something paying attention to me. With just one last sweep of my eyes across the room I let my hope die. It was a lost cause anyways. There’s always someone out there better than me to take hold of people’s attention.

Just then my eyes come to a startling stop on someone who is looking back at me. His stare so intense that it makes me feel like he was staring like that the whole time and that it was not just a nonchalant glance towards my direction. It’s as if he knew me, as if he had known me forever and so well that with just one look he could say to me what I had always wanted to hear. A doubt rose in my mind and I turned around to see if maybe he was staring at someone behind me, but when I did there was no one there. I turned back and saw that he was walking towards me through the crowd. Along the way many greeted him. It seemed like so many knew him. How come I had never noticed him before? All the while his gaze was on me. My hope began to flicker back. Did he really notice me? Does he care about me? Do I matter to him?

I watch you through the crowd. People pass by me and block my view sometimes, but every time I catch sight of you again your stance is the same. You stand there trying to make yourself as little and out of the way as possible with your shoulders hunched, your head down, and your hands in your pockets. Every once in a while you glance up to see if anyone has noticed you, but when they don’t I see you hunch even more and another crack forms in your heart. I want so much to reach over to your heart and bandage it and make it better than it ever was. But I know that the time has not yet come for me to do that. And so I wait. The scene before me is the one I’ve seen play out so many times before. I watch you day after day being beaten by those words that go through your head. Those words are such wretched, disgusting words. How did they get there? Who told you that you didn’t matter? Who told you that nobody cared? And even deeper than those word I see things that have taken root. They’ve been there for so long that you think that they’ve always been there – roots of worthlessness. Roots that are so thick and entangled that they smother and choke out any good that was planted there. Only your hope has been able to reach through those roots and grow. But I can see now that the hope planted in your heart is starting to turn brown and whither. So much work needs to be done in your heart and mind to restore what has been destroyed or what is near death.

Look at me, child, look at me! My heart breaks for you. If only you knew how much I cared! I would do anything to see you smile! I would even die, if only to give you a chance to live again! To see the garden of your heart flourish would be a joy to me.

There! You had just given up your search when you caught my eye. Yes, look at me! Don’t look away.

 I see a look of astonishment and then one of disbelief. I see the unanswered questions in your eyes that you’ve asked so many times to others. Now listen to my answers! You do matter! I do care!

You turn around to see if my attention is for someone else. How far away from my love you have gone! My voice has become unfamiliar to you, my face unrecognizable. When you were a child you so eagerly listened to my words. You heard my singing over you; you saw my gladness I had in you. When you were hurt and you cried I whispered words into your ear and your wails were silenced. I could freely hold you and freely love you. You were so full of joy! So much time has passed since then and the distance between us has widened until I was gone from your life completely.

But now, as I walk closer to you, I can see that your heart is ready for me again. You are ready to hear my songs and my whispers of love.

Your eyes fill with tears and your hope is coming to life again.

I reach out my hand to your cheek and your face willingly leans into it. Your tears spill over my fingers.

Listen! Your eyes lock with mine.

 “Year after year I have watched you suffer because of lies. Lies of worthlessness, lies that told you that you didn’t matter and that no one cared about you. You’ve suffered with lies that told you that your existence was unnecessary and unwanted.

“Now is the time to listen to the truth. I care about you. I delight in you. You are worth more to me than my very life! I love you.”

The tears had ceased to fall from your eyes and a smile I had waited so long to see crept over your face. I could see the roots of worthlessness wither away and in its stead spring up roots of love and peace and joy that were lying dormant, waiting to be awakened.

And those words, those distasteful words of lies that had constantly been played in your head like a broken record, were silenced.

My heart leaped with gladness and a song of rejoicing was ready on my lips.

The LORD your God in your midst, the Mighty One will save, He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17